Dear Mom and Dad,
Sorry it's been so long since I've written. Please send money.
And dad, I'm sorry for the butt-chewing I gave you. Hope you're recovering nicely.
Whoever said that war is hours/days of tedium and/or boredom puctuated by moments of sheer terror was right! We're in a lull now awaiting new orders after MI-5 has a chance to analyze the results of the most recent raids. They said they should be ready in about 3 weeks. That's just about right for MI-5!!!
Meantime, we're in a defensive posture, on standby 24 hrs. a day. So far, we have had ten false alarms and three (no, make that four) actual attacks. It appears that our bombardment is having its desired effect as their attacks lack the strength and intensity of their earlier ones, seeming more to try to irritate us rather than inflict true damage.
This in-and-of itself has led to a heightened state of stress with a corresponding drop in morale among the squadron. But we succeeded in curing some of this over the holiday.
The CO gave us all some time off for good behavior and we made a little party of it. The shipment from the Hong Kong Bra, Thong and Fireworks Co. arrived just in time to add to the festivities. We decided to throw together a little makeshift show (of sorts). Trish and Beth were absolutely stunning in theirs. Even JD looked kinda' cute, which can be scary in itself! Mo'Reese had to be quietly escorted out when after he deliberately put his on backwards, he began making SPAM sculptures of phalluses and waved them in front of the ladies. And Armando? Well, Armando used his to decorate the pink lawn flamingos which he brought along for the ocassion. He was later caught with two of them in the ammo-dump. He was "having his way" with one while the other was firmly attached to his face! I'm afraid that this most regrettable event may lead to his discharge - such a waste of talent and expertise.
But there go the sirens again. I must close for now.
Your loving son,
Fish