"And in the tradition of all great former Brazilian soccer players who have been banned for life for referring to what they do as ‘music’, I’m Yanni. (I didn’t know that you did weather, too!)"
"(Is there*anything* I don’t do? After all, I did do the Olympics, and there are still some people out there who consider what I do ‘music’, albeit, they’ve been lobotomized with only partial, and mostly unsuccessful, reconstructive surgery. Besides, I’ve been cloned! Have you?)
"We’re watching a freak out-of-season hurricane that developed off the lower Baja Peninsula move slowly to the west. And while the pressure continues to drop, now at 3.52 inches of blood and rapidly falling, we do not expect to see further development as the upper level winds are not favorable at this time -- to further development."
"(Huuuh? Did yuu clear that with the ‘Dept. of Redundancy Dept.’?) Small craft advisories remain in effect for the big island while surfers on the north shore have been experiencing some of the best winter-time conditions in at least recent memory (nobody can remember much further back than that). One wide-eyed, blonde, grinning and mostly brain-dead surfer was heard to say, ‘Bitchin’ dEwde!’ which translates into an impossible 300 word sentence with little meaning for those who do not innately understand."
"We have Kenny-G standing by on Spud Mountain. Kenny? How is it up there?"
"We have about 2 – 3 inches of the white stuff and everybodies’ out here with straws. I haven’t seen anything like this since the Hollywood Bowl in ’93 – which neither of you two made it to!"
"Yes, well Kenny? How are the pink flamingos faring through all of this?"
"Just fine, Yanni. They look wonderful in their little red Santa hats singing Christmas carols when their heads aren’t in the snow!"
"We’ll get back to you later, Kenny. Meantime, wipe that stupid grin off your face!"
"So John, tell us about what’s happening up north of the border so we can see what’s headed our way."
"In a word? Hosed, Yanni! Just plain hosed! And if you want a second opinion on that, just ask one of my clones – Buckels."
"Well, it just happens that we have Buckels on another line, right now! So, tell us, Buckels, just how are things up there right now?"
"Hosed, Yanni! Just plain hosed!"
"For John Tesh, who is preparing for both taking over as the new coach of the Washington Redskins along with preparing for his inauguration, this is Yanni for weather central."