"Capt. Fish reporting as ordered Ma'am."
"Sit."
She had her back to me and appeared deep in thought while she read over a paper.
"I've gone over your report, Fish, and I have to tell you right now that it makes absolutely no sense what-so-ever."
"I can only call them as I see them, ma'am."
"Yes, but what's this stuff about Cyndi Lauper's hair?"
"Ma'am, I, I can't explain. You had to be there to understand."
"Take off your pants."
I could hear the rip of velcro as she undid her flight suit. I could also feel a part of my anatomy morphing.
"Speedos?!?" she said with an irritated look of surprise and a tinge of disdain in her voice.
"Yes, Ma'am. You never know when ..."
"Never mind! Off!"
As I pulled my Speedos down she was pulling off her flight suit. She was wearing nothing underneath! But then Maj. Wuggles never had needed support. Her 34Bs stood proud and perky, knowing that they could always pass the pencil test.
"Weeeeell! I see that you're still ---- intact," she said.
"UuHhh! Yes Ma'am."
"Come over here. I need a better look."
She grabbed hold of it and began examining it closely. She looked up in my eyes. "They *say* that the memory is the second thing to go. Are you sure that they didn't implant you?" She looked directly at it. "Testing, 1, 2, 3, testing."
She got up, turned her back and walked briskly back to her desk.
"Fish, I'm referring you to Section 8 for further analysis. In the meantime, consider yourself confined to quarters."
The piece of my anatomy that had previously swelled in anticipation now drooped like a forlorn -- like a forlorn -- oh hell! I don't know. I quickly pulled my Speedos -- and my pants back up.
"That will be all, Fish. Dismissed."