It has just been brought to our attention that one of our disgruntled employees broke into our offices yesterday and surreptitiously posted an unauthorized episode of "The Alien Within!" Believe me when I say that we were as - or more shocked than you to see this obvious "rip-off". We apologize for the gross attack on our readers' sensibilities and we assure you that this kind of thing will never happen again.
We have identified the perpetrator, named him CEO, provided him with an 8-figure salary/perk package that includes a management seminar on Maui on "Improving your second shot lie" and "How to read bar graphs."
Again, we apologize for the unseemly nature of this heinous episode.