Episode 7 - Duck!.
"DUCK!", yelled the onlooker.
"No," I said with that note of resignation without even looking up. "Piano."
"You're right," said the onlooker after further examination of the falling object. He turned away as it made its usual, "THUD!" as it hit my head.
Getting out of the way was out of the question. As it really didn't make any difference how many feet ... miles ... I tried, it'd always find me.
See, when I put on the Shit Brown Suit (SSD) that had become part of my job desription, right there at the very bottom, right after where it always says, " ... and other tasks as may be assigned ...", right there in bold letters, mine had said, " ... and soften the impact of descending pianos."
And so it was never really any surprise to hear a cow-orker holler, "DUCK!" from some far off distant corner. But then it never really did any good either. The piano would always find me.
So you can well imagine my surprise when a cow-orker hollered, "DUCK!" and it turned out to be neither a duck, nor a piano. I looked up just in time to catch this ... this ... what? It felt small and light and came with a big sticker in red that said:
And I turned it a little and another red sticker read:
I could see a tussle of beautiful golden hair coming from the top. But what surpried me was that the light from inside could light up a room!
"What is it?", I asked.
"Check that note attached."
I opened it, and there, there was a copy of my job description ... but with the last lines taken off. So that it just read, " ... and other tasks as may be assigned ..."
They'd taken off the line that read, " ... and soften the impact of descending pianos."
And you know something? I haven't had to worry about falling pianos since!
Or ducks!"
The End!
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